False Smile
by Night's Darkness
Summary: SG1 goes on a usual recon mission, only to run into Jonas Quinn. But Jonas makes it clear from the start that he wants nothing to do with them. With the help of his siblings and friends, will they be able to help Jonas find himself again? Sea10 SG1.
1. Chapter 1

Ok, this fic is basically from the thought, what if Jonas had managed to escape the Ori, and wasn't as clean cut as the SGC people had been led to believe? What if he was in fact very much a rebel? And now he's a bitter one.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 1**

Stepping through the Stargate with practised ease, Cameron Mitchell surveyed the dense forest set out before him. Beside him Sam Carter stepped forward, her eyes searching the trees for any sigh of life. Teal'c was on his left, carefully checking for threats and Daniel was eagerly looking around for any signs of civilisations. Vala didn't seem overly interested.

"Another forest of trees." she drawled, "Oh what fun."

Daniel sighed and narrowed his eyes at her.

"You know, you don't have to come. In fact you don't really need to be a part of the team. I'm sure there are other things you could be doing." he said, only half meaning it. Vala eyed him and smirked,

"Oh but its so much fun annoying you Daniel."

"Ok people!" Mitchell quickly interrupted, "Let's move out." He did not want to listen to Vala and Daniel bicker and flirt all day.

With ease they made their way through the forest, Teal'c keeping a careful eye out for any danger.

A sudden rustling made them freeze, drawing up their weapons. It sounded like someone was in the bushes near them.

"Hello?" called Daniel, "Is someone there?"

"Oh they'll really just come out and say hello." Vala muttered, eyeing the bushes nervously.

A moment later a young man stepped out of the bushes and bowed slightly. Vala seemed to sigh to herself as Daniel grinned.

"Hello." the man greeted, a tad nervously. He had a light, lilting voice, "You come through the chappa'ai?"

"Yeah, we did." Mitchell nodded his head, "I'm Colonel Cameron Mitchell, this is Colonel Carter, Daniel Jackson, Teal'c and Vala. We're from a planet called Earth."

"Earth?" The man's eyes lit up at once and he beamed, "Carter? Jackson? Teal'c?"

"Um…"

The freckled face was covered with a smile like the Cheshire cat's. "You must come with me! He will be so happy to see you." The young man was practically dancing on the spot he was so happy.

"He? Wait a minute, we don't even know your name."

"I am Boyd. But you must come." Near-skipping with glee Boyd moved away from them, beckoning them as he went, "Come! Come!"

"Well this is different." Mitchell commented as they followed the man. "Nice change from weapons being pointed at us and being told how hollow the Ori are."

Daniel, for once, did not correct him on the word, considering the wrong one much more apt.

Boyd led them through the forest, as spry and light on his feet as a pixie. He was very elfin really. Tall, with sallow skin, his features were verging on androgynous, spiky hair, and his ears were even a bit pointed.

After about half an hour of walking, during which they could get no more information from Boyd than they already had, they emerged from the forest and arrived at a village. The buildings were simple log cabins, like General O'Neill's on Earth that he was so fond of. Glass lined the windows, sealing them shut against the weather, but it wasn't quite clear, as if the refinement of glass was a new skill they'd acquired. People, all with rather pixie-like appearances and red hair like Boyd, were milling about as they carried out daily routines. They fell quiet as Boyd began shouting with delight, calling for someone called The Caedmon.

Mitchell smiled at the villagers who were eyeing them curiously. As he looked them over he noticed two blond girls, only about 17 or 18, staring at him and whispering to each other with excitement. He couldn't quite stop a pleased smile spreading across his face. Sam raised an eyebrow at him and he shrugged without shame.

Boyd came back and said,

"The Caedmon will see you."

"I'm sorry but who is this Caedmon?" Daniel asked, "Is he your leader?"

"You shall see, come, come!"

Thoroughly lost they followed him, noticing how the people spoke excitedly to one another as they passed. Boyd led them to a large log cabin, gesturing for them to approach the porch and wait at the foot of it. Boyd himself went inside and there was the sound of soft talking within the darkness of the cabin. Mitchell noticed that there was no source of light inside, yet there was someone inside. That someone sounded upset. Boyd's voice became more insistent and they heard a few words like,

"…thought… pleased…" and the other voice said,

"… don't… hate… traitors…" The voices dropped as they continued to argue. A woman appeared from the shadows on their left and stared at them curiously. She was more sturdy than the willowy villagers. Her eyes told of a tragedy in her life and there was a scar to reinforce this fact visible through her top. It was a blood red in colour, with rips over the shoulders, exposing a nasty, jagged scar.

From within the cabin a baby began to wail pitifully. It sounded like a young baby at that. The woman sighed and strode inside the hut disappearing into the shadows. After a few moments the crying subsided.

Finally, just as Vala was about to ask whether they would be standing there all day, Boyd came back and a taller man followed him wearily. Sam's jaw dropped, Daniel's eyebrows rose and Mitchell's eyes bugged out. Teal'c's mouth twitched and Vala looked confused.

Green eyes surveyed them with coldness, and seemed to twitch in anger. Where there should have been a smile there was a pinched grimace. The tall, broad frame was draped in a blood red shirt that hugged every contour of muscle, giving him a dangerous appearance. Hair had been cropped to the shorter style of before, without any form of gel control on the thick brown strands.

After a moment of silence Sam gave a wide smile and exclaimed,

"Jonas!" stepping forward to hug him it seemed. Jonas just glared at them and backed away from Sam. Sam pulled up in surprise, looking confused and a little hurt. "Jonas? Don't you know us?"

"I know you." he hissed, voice laced with venom, "But I wish I didn't! I should have known one of your teams would show up eventually, but for it to be you lot… oh the Gods must be laughing at me now." Jonas turned away from them and kicked the doorframe so hard the whole cabin seemed to tremble. Boyd looked anxious as he watched.

"Caedmon, please, I thought you would be pleased to see them." he pleaded. Jonas rounded on him, eyes flashing,

"And why would I be happy to see them? I hate them." Sam's eyes widened in hurt and she reached out to Jonas again,

"Jonas, what's going on? Why are you saying-"

"Jonas!" Vala exclaimed suddenly, "I knew I recognised your name. You must be Jonas Quinn, who took over for Daniel when he died." Jonas flinched and glowered at her, "I'm Vala. I'm new to the team." She held out her hand. "I must say… you're far more attractive than your pictures gave you due." Daniel coughed. Jonas stared at her stonily and made no move to shake her hand so it fell useless at her side.

Teal'c stepped forward, a small smile on his face, but his eyes betrayed that he was greatly concerned.

"It is good to see you again JonasQuinn."

Jonas snorted and ignored Teal'c's proffered hand, turning away from them. He strode into the cabin and when they stood there feeling thoroughly lost, he called,

"Well are you coming in or not?" in a gruff, uncaring tone. Feeling thoroughly unwelcome they entered the dark cabin, which reeked of smoke of some kind, vomit, sweat, and alcohol.

Jonas threw himself into a carved chair, lovingly inlaid with soft cloth containing padding for comfort. He hooked one knee over an arm and leaned back. When they didn't move he gestured irritably at the chairs, offering them a seat.

As they sat down Jonas pulled out what was clearly a joint. He lit the end of a thin stick with a candle and used it to light the joint. Then he took a deep drag of it with practised ease. Lazily he leaned his head back and blew the smoke out in a languid way. The woman from before stepped out of an adjacent room. Jonas looked at her, seeming to be asking her a silent question and she gave a slight smile and nod. Jonas nodded his head and then waved her away. Her mouth twitched and then she strode out.

"So… just on the usual recon mission?" Jonas sneered, turning back to the team.

"Yeah… we didn't exactly expect to find you here." Daniel raised his eyebrows. It was clear he was hoping for an explanation.

"I'm not surprised. _I_ didn't expect to find me here. I guess that's what happens when life decides to take a crap on you." The Kelnowan took another drag of the joint. The smoke was making them feel light-headed and those who had known the squeaky-clean-never-said-a-bad-word Jonas were both surprised and alarmed by this change.

"Um… what exactly do you mean?" Vala asked delicately.

"I mean that since the Ori showed up and decided to take over Langara all my hard work was for crap!" Jonas tossed the joint into a bucket and pulled another one out. "Everyone on my planet now declares that the Ori are hallowed, and the few people I managed to get away from Langara are all stuck on a world that, while does not lack for kindness, certainly isn't much on the scientific side of things. As you can imagine all of us are really chomping on the bit in that aspect."

"So some of you did get away. We were worried when we heard about it."

Jonas snorted,

"Sure you were. I believe you." Clearly he did not. Sam grimaced and waved her hand in front of her face,

"Jonas could you please not smoke that stuff, it's giving me a headache."

"Yeah and since when do you smoke? Or curse? Or drink?" Mitchell eyed him, "You were squeaky-clean in the SGC." Jonas lit the joint and let out a stream of smoke out his nose as if it was just to spite Sam's request. He rolled the joint around in his fingers and said,

"Don't believe everything you see. On Kelnowa I loved to drink and party with my friends, I'd curse all the time outside of work and if we'd been more than 'work-friends' you'd have seen that. Smoking is a new thing though, I thought I may as well give it a try. Not like it's going to kill me. It's the crap you Earthlings put in to make the cigarettes that does the damage, not the tobacco, and this isn't even that." Heaving himself out of his chair he stubbed out the joint and then threw it away.

As their eyes followed him they noticed that the floor was filthy and that there were three doors leaving the main room. The front door was wide open.

"Why did you not attempt to come to Earth when the Ori took over your world?" Teal'c stood up to follow Jonas. The Jaffa wanted to understand what had happened to his friend who would light up a room with his smile.

"Didn't see a point." Jonas said, stuffing his hands in his pockets, "Not like you'd care."

"We were worried about you Jonas." insisted Sam, getting to her feet.

"If you gave a damn about me, then you'd have written to me, or called or shown some indication of it! I did call and write letters! Never got any answers back though. You were never around when I called, so I figured, since you never tried to contact me back, what's the point?"

Sam made a movement towards Jonas but he shuffled away, turning his head to the side. As the light fell on his throat it revealed a jagged scar along his neck. It was similar to the one the woman had.

There was a wail from the room behind Jonas and he groaned, closing his eyes wearily, and then he turned away and walked into the room. A few minutes later the cries turn to whimpers and Jonas re-emerged with a baby in his arms. The baby was probably about four months old and was the most delicate and adorable thing you could hope to see. Its hair was a downy brown, thick on its head. It had large green eyes that looked just like Jonas'. Its features were more delicate than Jonas' though.

"Is this your baby Jonas?" asked Sam, trying to make conversation, trying to reach the real Jonas under this horrid shell.

"No. She's not." Jonas said, his eyes fixed on the baby, as he bounced her gently in his arms. "She's my niece."

"I didn't know you had siblings."

"You never asked." said Jonas darkly, "For the record I've got three."

"Wow." Sam's eyes were wide. "Your niece is cute, what's her name?"

"Caoimhe."

"Que-va? What a strange name." Vala said, before quickly adding, "Not that it isn't cute of course."

"It means precious in Gaelic." said Daniel in a half undertone. "That's a nice name to give her."

"The people here chose it for her. None of us were really in the mood for celebrations."

"Why not?"

"Because her mother died giving birth to her. J broke down into a mess and of course I had to do what I had to to get him back together. The others weren't much help at that time either. No one wanted to face the facts." Jonas fell silent, as if he realised he was saying too much and then he said gruffly, "Since you're here on a recon mission I won't ask you to leave. But leave me and the other Kelnowans alone. We don't want anything to do with you." With that said Jonas strode out, the baby cooing in his arms.

"You know…I'd have expected him to be a bit more smiley." said Vala, frowning after him. No one bothered to answer her.

* * *

Jonas strode through the forest, his muscled arms holding Caoimhe secure and protected from the branches that he was bashing past. After about ten minutes of brisk walking he entered a clearing.

In this clearing sat three children all dress in blood red tops. Well one was sixteen and so did not count as a child any more, but the other two, a boy and a girl were 10 and 7 respectively. The sixteen year old was a boy, with typically teenage limbs, i.e. they were long and lanky, and his brown hair was a mess of waves, some of which fell into his eyes. His eyes were green, the exact same as Jonas' and Caoimhe's. The other two also had these eyes.

The difference in the teen's eyes and the others' was that his were dull and dead, while the others had varying degrees of life in them.

"J!" Jonas snapped, making the teen jump. J sat up at once and looked at him with his dull eyes. "Come and take your daughter for a while. I'm tired of you not taking care of her."

J didn't move. Jonas' face darkened and he held Caoimhe out to the teen.

"Seriously J! I'm not messing around anymore. This is your child and so you should take care of her." J blinked at him blank-faced and then held his arms out and in doing so the sunlight exposed countless scars over his skin. Jonas ignored the fresher ones as he set the baby in his arms. "Nas, Jun come here." The other two children stood up and walked up to him. Jonas stared at them and his face softened, a small smile lighting his face. "There's some people in the village, it's SG1, minus O'Neill and plus two other people. I want you to stay away from them. Understand?"

Jun, a pretty little girl of 7, with her hair in pigtails, scrunched her nose but nodded. Nas, 10, with features that were slightly softer than his older brothers, scowled.

"But I want to meet them." he whined.

"I don't care Nas. You're to stay away from them! Got it?"

"Fine." he pouted, knowing better than to argue with his older brother when he was in such a foul mood.

"Good. Where're the others?"

"By the river having an orgy." reported Nas, the meaning of his words not reaching him. Jonas sighed heavily,

"Thanks Nas, and please stop using that word."

"But I like it!" Jonas sighed again and straightened up.

"Whatever, I'll see you later. J." J looked at him, "Take care of Caoimhe." J didn't answer.

* * *

Hope you liked this first chapter, let me know what you think!

Night's Darkness


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 and the angst is still going!

Enjoy!

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**Chapter 2**

"Well… this is different." said Vala as she sat down beside Daniel. Daniel gave her a side-look but said nothing. He was too busy trying to figure out what had happened with Jonas. How was it possible that they hadn't received any notification that Jonas had tried to contact them?

Sam was staring into the fire that was burning in the centre of the village. It was quite clear she was very upset over this. Teal'c was silent and his face was like stone. Mitchell's face was creased with a frown.

Looking very hesitant, Boyd approached them,

"I am sorry. I thought the Caedmon would be happier to see you. He has spoken of you many times by this very fireside, telling us amazing tales to pass long nights. Although… he always referred to you in the past tense, so I must say I thought you were dead."

"It looks like that's what we are to him." said Sam bitterly. Vala stood up and went to sit beside the other woman, putting her hand on her arm. Sam gave her a slight smile of gratitude for the offered comfort. Daniel wondered just how the two women had become such firm friends. Then again, Vala had a knack for making anyone like her, no matter how irritating she could be, or how she could be a double dealer. Maybe it was just because they were both women on a team with three men.

"I'm afraid the Caedmon's spirit has been very much crushed by life. Especially in recent times. He is struggling with his sibling J. J is not well in his mind."

"What do you mean? Is the kid schizophrenic?" asked Mitchell.

"I do not believe so. I'm afraid that he is what Caedmon refers to as a 'cutter'." All the team sat up at once at that.

"Is this the same sibling who's the father of that baby?" asked Vala.

"Yes. I'm afraid J does not wish to care for her. He does not speak much anymore." Boyd looked at them hopefully, "I am telling you this because maybe you can help him. Then Caedmon will be happier. He is very kind to us, and he helps us, he taught us how to make glass for our windows and he's helping us develop machines, that is, his friend Amador is and Jonas helps him."

"Why do you keep calling him Caedmon?"

"It's Celtic. It means wise warrior." offered Daniel

"We bestow this name upon someone who is wise and strong and helps the village." explained Boyd, "Jonas arrived with his family and friends only days after the last Caedmon passed away. We realised quick enough he was extremely intelligent, as are the rest of his people, but since Jonas is the leader, we gave him the title."

"Interesting. He's like the vizier of your village."

"What do you mean?"

"Well a vizier has a lot of influence and power but isn't technically a leader, which is what I'm assuming is the case with Jonas."

"It sounds similar." Boyd nodded. "We have no real leader, generally the oldest of the village are in charge. The Elders of the Clan."

"Interesting." said Daniel.

"Where do the other Kelnowans stay?"

"They have their own campsite a little closer to the river. They wished to be kept apart, but we built a house within the village for them when they stay with us until it is too dark or they are too tired to walk back to their own home."

"How many are there?"

"Twelve including Caoimhe."

"That's all?"

"They were lucky to escape with their lives from what they've told us. Each of them bears a mark of their escape."

"A scar?"

"Yes. I'm sure you saw Melosa today while I was speaking with Jonas."

"She's Kelnowan?"

"Yes. You can tell who's who because all the Kelnowans wear blood red shirts, I understand it is a symbol of mourning on their homeworld. Besides, none of them look as we do."

"You mean none of them look like elves?" asked Mitchell with a slight grin. Boyd grinned back.

"Exactly." Mitchell's smile became slightly surprised that Boyd knew what he was talking about. "We believe we are descendants of elves, but that we have lost our magical ability due to our poor blood."

"Poor blood?"

"Yes, because there were so few elves, they had little choice but to resort to incestuous relationships. As everyone knows it can result in offspring with disfigurements."

"Interesting… creepy, but interesting." said Mitchell, before adding, "I'm never going to be able to look at Liv Tyler as Arwen the same way again."

This made Daniel smile briefly, but his slight amusement died rather rapidly. He cleared his throat and said, "Well we hope you don't mind us staying around for a while, we'd like to learn about your culture."

"Of course not. What would you like to know?"

"As much as possible." Daniel said, with some of his usual eagerness. Vala decided to go see about food and drink. Teal'c wandered off to explore the area. Sam and Mitchell just sat there, feeling rather useless.

* * *

Teal'c strode through the forest, following the sound of the river, searching for the Kelnowan campsite. He wanted to find his friend and talk to him, explain that they had not received his messages, or else they would have responded. As he reached a clearing he stopped short in surprise. Actually rather more than surprise. More like shock.

Jonas was lying on the ground in the clearing, which was rather secluded and private, completely naked. Beside him lay another naked figure, also male. As Teal'c watched, too taken aback by what he'd come upon to move, the other man leaned over Jonas and kissed him deeply. Jonas' fingers worked their way into the man's hair and held him close as they entered a very tender embrace.

After a moment it was clear they had no intention of stopping, so Teal'c decided it would be best if he tried some other time. He silently walked away, pausing when he felt a pair of eyes staring at him.

Looking to his left, Teal'c saw a small boy of ten staring at him. He sent the boy, who could not be anyone but one of Jonas' siblings, a small smile of greeting and then walked away, knowing the boy would follow, thus taking them both away from the intimate moment going on.

* * *

Jonas stared up at the stars, lying on his back, enjoying the freeness of his bare skin on the ground. Amador rested his head on Jonas' shoulder, wrapping an arm around his waist to keep him close. Jonas said nothing. He rarely did afterwards.

"I know you're still upset Jonas." Amador whispered, looking up at him, "I wish you would talk to me."

"It doesn't matter. They'll be gone soon. Then we can forget they were ever here." said Jonas firmly, his tone indicating he didn't want to talk. Amador sighed heavily and kissed his skin softly. Jonas closed his eyes to fight the feelings those gentle caresses produced. Nevertheless he slipped his hand into Amador's, resting them on his own chest. Amador's fingers were rough against his, even though his own were hardly smooth. Amador looked into Jonas' eyes, his dark brown ones making him think of chocolate.

"I wish you'd let this anger go. I miss your smile."

"There's no reason to smile anymore."

"That's not true. There's so many reasons to smile. Each day is a reason to smile, we are alive. Is that not reason enough?"

"Whenever I try to think like that I just end up remembering that everyone on Kelnowa only smiles to honour the Ori or else they will die."

Amador sighed and gave in as he always did, pulling Jonas as close as he could, clutching him to him. Jonas swallowed hard and felt tears spring up into his eyes. He brushed them away before Amador saw them. He hated crying in front of people, especially Amador.

"I love you Jonas." Amador whispered, tightening his hold even more. Every time he said this he seemed afraid that Jonas would try to run away. Jonas would never do that.

"I know Amador, now go to sleep. Tomorrow's gonna be a long day."

"Hmm…" Amador closed his eyes and soon fell asleep. Only then did Jonas allow himself to cry.

* * *

Vala was walking through the forest, too wired to sleep, her P-90 at her side. The forest was peaceful, and seemed relaxed, which made her assume there was no danger. Still, she kept a wary eye out for predators.

A loud wail emanated through the trees, making Vala freeze. It was a baby's cry, and after a few minutes of listening, it only increased in pitch. Vala followed her ears, pushing through dense forest, to reach the sound. Every instinct in her was pushing her forwards, like it was her own child who was crying for her. For a moment Adria flashed through her mind, and Vala felt a stab of pain through her heart. No matter what Adria had done, or what she was, Vala couldn't stop loving her daughter, whom she'd never held in her arms.

At last Vala reached a clearing and stopped short in horror. The baby, Caoimhe, was lying on the ground, having wriggled free of her blanket, revealing that she'd soiled herself, badly, and was bawling her little head off. Her face was highlighted by the moon, showing it scrunched up along with her body in a little ball of fury.

Beside Caoimhe lay a boy, and for a moment, Vala thought he was dead. Sprawled out on the ground, his arms outstretched, blood glistening as it fell from his arms, with his eyes closed, his chest barely rose with breath. There was the unmistakable smell of drugs about the air as well.

Vala ran over and knelt beside him, checking his pulse, finding it weak. Shaking, she fumbled for the radio and said,

"Daniel! Samantha! Teal'c! Cameron!" unable to keep the panic out of her voice.

"Go ahead Vala. What's wrong?"

"I've just found a boy, I'm assuming he's Jonas' brother, with the baby. He's cut his wrists and his pulse is weak, and I think he used drugs. Daniel, I think he's dieing!"

"Where are you?" demanded Daniel, his firm tone reassuring her a little.

"Uh… north. Just north of the camp. The baby needs changing too."

"We're on our way. Try and wake the kid. Out." said Mitchell. Vala let go of the radio and lifted the boy's head a little and slapped his cheek.

"J? J wake up! Time to get up." she called, trying to sound cheerful, in an effort to rouse him, glad she could remember his name. J stirred but didn't wake. "Come on J! You need to wake up! Your daughter needs you to wake up."

J stirred a little more and then his eyes opened and he stared at Vala. His lips were white and his pupils were pinpricks. Vala rubbed his chest in an effort to warm him up, smiling down at him, "It's ok J. It's ok, you'll be just fine. Just stay with me ok? Stay with me."

J swallowed, his lips parting and a soft gasp escaped his mouth. He didn't seem to know where he was or what was going on. Caoimhe continued to wail. Vala tried to ignore the sound, because J needed her attention now. The baby was all right, just a little smelly.

J blinked and tears filled his eyes, trickling free and falling down along taut skin. Vala looked into his eyes and saw a child lost in a sea of despair, unable to swim and being pulled under. She smiled again and rubbed his torso again, more for comfort than anything else.

"It's ok. It's ok." she mumbled, repeating it until the words ceased to make sense.

"Vala!" Daniel burst into the clearing, no doubt having followed the sound of the baby. Behind him came Sam, Teal'c, Mitchell, Jonas and a taller man with dark hair and eyes, with Boyd bringing up the rear.

"J!" Jonas ran to his brother and knelt beside him opposite Vala. Looking him over Jonas snarled, "You idiot J! You goddamn idiot!"

J whimpered and one hand latched onto Vala's arm, seeking safety. Vala narrowed her eyes at Jonas,

"Hey! Right now is not the time to be yelling at him. He's dieing and he needs help, not your scolding!"

Jonas glared at Vala, then said, "Amador, take Caoimhe and clean her up, Boyd, get Melosa, tell her what's happened. We'll bring J to the big house." The man Vala didn't know tenderly picked up the crying baby, not caring that he was getting covered in waste, and he hummed to her as he carried her away. Boyd dashed off in another direction. Jonas picked J up in his arms and carried him off. J managed to keep a grip on Vala, who followed them, letting J hold onto her. The others brought up the rear.

Jonas strode through the forest, not breaking stride once, Vala jogging to keep hold of J's hand.

"It'll be ok J, don't you worry." she said, angry that Jonas was saying nothing to comfort his younger sibling. J moaned, sounding frightened.

"Melosa!" shouted Jonas as he entered the house they'd met him originally.

"I'm here."

"Have you got it?"

"Here." Melosa held out a syringe, full of dark green liquid.

Jonas went into a smaller room, full of beds and lay J down on one. J was shaking now, his arms still bleeding. Vala held his hand and knelt by his side, opposite Jonas and Melosa. Jonas took the syringe and held it up to the candle light and tapped it, to remove any air in the needle.

"Melosa, hold him down." Jonas ordered, his face set. Melosa pressed down on J's shoulders.

"Hold him down by the hips." she ordered Vala, who obeyed, her heart hammering. Daniel went to her side and held J down by the hips too. Vala threw him a grateful look as Jonas injected the syringe's contents into J's system. There was a moment of silence and then J's shaking became a full-bodied fit. His head snapped back and his breathing sped up until he was almost hyperventilating. Jonas applied his own body weight to J's torso, while Boyd, who'd been hovering in the shadows, held down J's legs. J let out a scream of agony.

"It's hurting him! Make it stop." said Vala, feeling panicked.

"It's forcing the drugs out of his system, he needs it or he'll die." snapped Jonas, not even looking up from his brother's face.

The fit stopped but J began to heave and Jonas turned him onto his side while Melosa caught what he brought up in a bowl. Daniel grimaced as his hands became wet as J soiled himself at the same time. Then it was all over and J was unconscious, looking almost peaceful, if one ignored his sweaty, grey skin and soiled clothes.

Jonas let out a soft sigh of relief, lowering his head as if exhausted, then lifting it again.

"I'll clean him up. Melosa, you go get some sleep."

"You sure? I can stay and help." offered Melosa.

"No, go tell the others I'll be here tonight. And make sure Caoimhe's ok. I'm sure Amador's got her covered. And can you find-"

"Nas and Jun? You got it Jonas. Try to get some sleep tonight Jonas. You haven't slept for five days." Melosa touched Jonas' arm, and Jonas pulled away from her.

"I don't have time for sleep. Too busy." he grunted, sounding shattered. Melosa sighed, pinching her lips together.

"Ok Jonas. Good night."

"Night Melosa."

Melosa left the room. Jonas ruffled his hair, and then said,

"You can go too Boyd."

"Are you certain Caedmon?"

"Yeah, just… just go get some rest. Looks like we'll have to feed him up again… for all the good it'll do."

"What's that supposed to mean?" demanded Vala, standing up, feeling furious and unable to hold her tongue after what she'd just seen.

"It means that this keeps happening. J overdoses and over-bleeds and after we keep him alive and feed him up until he's more or less healthy again, he just does it again. It's a never-ending cycle and all the while I have a ten year old boy and a seven year old girl who don't know if their brother knows they're alive anymore or even cares. And what's more I-" Jonas snapped his mouth shut in the middle of his rant, turning away from them all. When he spoke again, it was in a low growl, "Thank you for your help. You can leave now."

"I'm staying." said Vala, her dark eyes glinting in determination.

"Oh?" Jonas glanced at her over his shoulder.

"That's right. This boy doesn't need medical care. He needs kindness. Something you are clearly incapable of giving him."

Jonas stared at Vala, looking like he'd just been hit in the face. Then he burst out laughing. It wasn't a warm laugh like the other team members remembered. It was a cold, hysterical, bitter kind of laugh that sent chills up their spines. Jonas kept laughing, staggering into the wall, leaning against it.

"You… you, you think… oh!" Jonas couldn't get a word out among his laughter. He held his stomach and doubled over, tears rolling down his cheeks, but it was impossible to tell whether he was really crying or just crying because he was laughing. It could have been both. Then he stopped, and he grabbed a piece of pottery and flung it across the room, narrowly missing Sam. They all flinched at the sound.

Jonas stood there, panting, flexing his fingers, staring at them all, a crazy gleam in his eyes. He swayed a little, then dragged his hand over his face and when he dropped his hand his face was as blank as stone.

Without a word to anyone, he stripped off his brother's filthy clothes and washed him off, like he was a baby. Then he put a long nightshirt on the thin, frail body and carried him to a clean bed. Then he walked out. He didn't come back.

Vala waited a moment before setting a chair beside J's bed and sitting down, looking determined to carry out her promise to stay.

"Oh my god! What's happened to him?" gasped Sam, sounding close to tears.

"I have no idea." said Daniel, sounding heartbroken. Teal'c had his head down, his eyes dark. Mitchell looked regretful. He may not have been on SG1 at the time, but he could remember Jonas well enough. The eager young alien had been the talk of the SGC when he'd arrived. Ok, at first no one had a nice thing to say about him, since most, if not all of the SGC held him responsible for Jackson's death, but after a few months everyone had begin to warm to him. The man had been a likable guy. Even Jack O'Neill had come to like him. Always eager to help, ready for any adventure, never loosing that cheerful outlook on life. He'd been a fresh breeze in the stuffy halls of the SGC. Now though… now he was barely recognisable as the man that had lived on Earth for a year. Mitchell shuddered to think about what could have done that to such a man as Jonas Quinn.

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Reviews are like chocolate, the more the better!

Night's Darkness


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry for the long wait folks, but I lost some of what I'd written and had to rewrite it. Thanks to all the encouraging reviews.

Enjoy!

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**Chapter 3**

Vala hadn't left her post, although she'd dozed a few times, but each time she'd fallen out of her chair, so she'd woken up. Now, as the sun came up, she had enough light to really look at J.

To her horror, he was little more than a skeleton with grey coloured skin. His lips were cracked and bloody, his eyes sunken in, his arms like twigs and his collarbone poking out alarmingly from under the collar of his nightshirt. His arms were littered with scars, some fading, others very fresh, including last nights hidden by bandages.

Vala felt tears in her eyes as she took in the boy before her. He couldn't have been more than sixteen years old and he was such a horrible mess. Vala reached out and stroked his hair. It was like a chick's down, which surprised her, soft, and feathery light.

J stirred and then blinked, forcing his gummy eyes open. The eyes were more normal looking now, although they looked far too big for his face. He looked around the room and then, finally, he looked at Vala.

"Er… hello J." Vala said, trying to smile, feeling very awkward. J stared at her, as if he couldn't believe his eyes. "I'm Vala. I'm a… friend."

"So you are real?" J asked, sounding shocked.

"Erm… I hope so." Vala shrugged, not sure what he meant.

"I thought I dreamed you. Or that you were an angel come to take me to death."

"Nope, I'm real and I'm not an angel. I found you last night and got help."

"Oh…" J looked uncertain, as if he wasn't sure if he liked this fact. Vala frowned. Surely he hadn't been _trying_ to kill himself. "Thanks I guess."

"Can I get you anything?"

J's eyes flickered with a strange hunger. The hair on Vala's neck stood on end. J looked away and then he said, closing his eyes.

"I'm hungry."

"Ok! I'll go find you some food."

"Boyd will probably have some ready for me." said J, his eyes still closed. It was like he was describing a routine, just like Jonas had said last night. This had happened enough times for J to know how to deal with it when he woke up. Vala hide to fight a shudder. She got to her feet and walked outside.

Boyd was waiting for her on the porch. When Vala appeared he jumped to his feet and ran to a nearby house, returning almost at once with a tray of food and water.

"This will be enough, but if he asks for more, just call." Boyd said as he handed the tray over. Vala forced a smile.

"Thank you Boyd. I'll keep that in mind. Where are the others? Daniel, Sam?"

"Oh, they are sleeping in my house, I offered them beds."

"Ah, I was just wondering." Vala nodded her head and then brought the tray into J. J looked like he was asleep again, but when Vala reached the bed his eyes opened and he wiggled his way to a sitting position. Vala put the tray on his lap. J picked up the bread, tore it into quarters, and stuck it in the mug of water and then began to eat something that resembled porridge, only it was faintly pink and more liquidy.

"Vala? Was that your name?"

"Yes."

"You're one of the SG1 team?"

"Yes. Although I'm not from earth, I'm an alien."

"Oh… you're a pretty alien."

"Well thank you. You're… a handsome one."

J gave Vala a crooked smile, "You don't need to lie to me. I know what I look like. I'm a cutting drug-addict, but I'm not blind."

Vala wasn't able to hide the grimace on her face. J's smile widened. "Don't like hearing such nasty things?"

"Not from someone so young. I'm no stranger to nastiness, but you're –what?- sixteen?"

"Yeah."

"That's far too young to be…"

"Such a mess?"

"Well… yes. I mean, what on earth made you like this?"

"Lots of stuff I guess." J shrugged. "You yelled at Jonas last night. You shouldn't do that."

"Why not? He should be helping you, not yelling at you?"

"I used up all his help. Now he can't even help himself. Which is a pity, because Amador's completely in love with him."

"Amador? Who's that?"

"A tall, broad, handsome young man, looks better than the rest of us Kelnowans, as if he's still got some spirit in him."

"Oh! Him!" Vala cringed when she realised that J's description had actually given her an exact picture of who he was talking about. Then she realised something, "Wait? A man? I'd have thought your brother was a ladies' man."

"Jonas was everyone's man when he was my age."

"Really?"

"Sure. Even for a Kelnowan he was a wild guy. Then again, so were his friends."

"Really?"

"Of course. But when he got the job with the government he made sure to behave himself, and continued to do so on Earth. He's far wilder than you people ever gave him credit for. I'm grateful for it."

"Why?"

"Because it's this knowledge, how much is too much, when to stop, that keeps him from overdoing things and killing himself. Without him we'd be screwed."

"Really? I find that hard to believe."

"Good. It means you haven't seen us at our worst."

"Last night wasn't the worst?"

"Not by a long shot." J pulled out the soaked bread and popped it into his mouth. "I hate the way bread's so dry. I prefer it when it's really soggy. Goes down so much easier."

"We could help you, you know." said Vala, "On earth, I'm sure they could help you."

"Help us?"

"Yes. Help you stop taking drugs, help you to get well again."

"You think we're sick?" J's voice had become frosty.

"Well…"

"We're not sick, in mind or body! We know exactly what we're doing. It's not as if we're pretending we don't have problems, it's just that we don't care. Jonas pretends to care, but only because he loves us. Amador might care a little, but even he can't resist the release the drugs give us. Usually the older people take them before they start acting like animals in heat. That's no different from what it was at home." J shook his head, as if annoyed that he'd said so much. "I'm finished. I'm going to sleep now."

Vala took his tray, feeling speechless. J rolled onto his side and fell asleep at once. He looked no better in sleep, if anything he looked worse. Like a skeleton covered in flesh that hadn't begun to decay. Vala noticed how faint his breathing was. Shaking, she left the house, searching for her teammates.

* * *

Daniel felt ill as he listened to Vala recount what J had told her. He was used to horrid things, but this was a personal thing. Deep down Daniel blamed himself for a reason he didn't really want to figure out at that moment.

"Excuse me?"

Daniel blinked as he looked at the tall handsome man standing near him. The man was broad, and looked a little healthier than the other Kelnowans. "Are you Doctor Jackson?"

"Um, yes that's me. And you are?"

"My name is Amador."

"You're a close friend of Jonas'."

"Yes." Amador managed to sound happy and wistful at once.

"What can we do for you?"

"I want you to help Jonas."

The team stared at him. Mitchell was the first one to find his voice,

"Sure doesn't look like he wants our help."

"He does… or he will once he realises that you are not an enemy."

"How can he think that? We're his friends?" demanded Sam, looking frustrated.

"Well… um… I don't know if this will reveal anything but…" Amador held out a notepad. "It's Jonas' diary. He writes in English, which I can't read. Jonas said he'd teach me your alphabet, but never got the chance before the Ori came to Langara."

Daniel took it with care and held it tight. "Thank you very much. We won't tell Jonas it was you who gave it to us."

"Thank you." Amador nodded to them.

"Why does Jonas say he sent us messages? We never got them."

"He sent messages, and he called you, or so he thought. I believe that the government lied and made him think you'd abandoned him so he'd remain loyal to them and not you. However, that is just my theory." Amador shrugged and walked away. Daniel watched him leave and then he followed Sam's motion for them to retreat to the room Boyd had given them.

Once they were seated, Daniel opened the diary and skimmed over the pages, looking for something significant.

"Well?"

"Well, it's mainly alternating between professional and personal things. J wasn't kidding about Jonas being wild, listen to this- 'Last night I was bored, so I called the others over and told them to bring the usual stuff. We put the music up so loud we almost broke the sound barrier, and I think Melosa and I had sex, but I can't quite remember. It could have been Gasper or Elina. Either way Amador's annoyed with me now. Will make it up to him by getting him some of that drink from Terinia. Once he's wasted we'll make up as we always do –although I hate bottoming- and things will be fine.'"

"Is it all like that?" Sam couldn't believe it.

"A lot of it, there's stuff about his siblings, like his sister's recital, and his mother and Ambassador Dreylock's relationship being brought into question at a council meeting."

"Why?"

"Apparently they were best friends and Jonas considered Dreylock something of an aunt, but because they lived together people were suggesting they were more than friends." Daniel shook his head. "Moving on… oh here's something. It's one of the last entries."

"Spill."

"'Kelnowans have a saying. 'When life takes a shit on you, it usually has diarrhoea.' This basically means that when things go bad, they get really bad, really quickly.'"

"That's just lovely." grimaced Vala.

"'The symptoms started about two months ago. J and his girlfriend came up to me on a lovely summer day and told me, pretty matter of factly, that Juanita was pregnant. Now this was a shock to me, since I was so sure J was smarter than that. But I couldn't exactly say much, not since I did this exact same thing when I was J's age. The only difference here was that J and Juanita love each other, despite their youth, unlike me and Liani had, and I've no doubt that Juanita won't go and abort the baby without telling J like Liani did to me. So… after a momentary panic over their age I accepted the situation with gladness. I was going to be an uncle! Juanita's parents were fine of course, so long as J didn't try to run for it. So we were ok. Situation handled. Then we went for her first scan.

"'J wanted me along for support. Turned out they needed it. There was a problem. Juanita's placenta was in the babies' way. If the baby was delivered naturally then it would kill Juanita. However, that was also manageable, because they decided for what tau'ri call a C-section. So that was sorted.

"'Then the Ori showed up. I was polite at first, but quickly saw through them and asked them to leave. Instead they came and attacked the planet. I was barely able to get my siblings, friends, and Juanita to the gate. My mother and auntie Ramona were killed in an explosion. Jun still has nightmares about it.

"'We were lucky to escape, especially the amount of us there were. We were also lucky that we met these people. They are kind and helpful. But they can't help us to forget what happened.

"'Juanita went into labour a month early. She was walking with J in the mountains and it came on so quick that by the time Melosa arrived to try a C-section, the baby was already forcing her way out. There was nothing we could do for Juanita.

"'Her death was the final straw for J. Now he's lost all hope. And I have to try and bring it back to him. But how am I supposed to give my brother something I don't have?

"'Day after day I think, 'Maybe I should have gone to Earth. But I didn't want to bring my family and friends to a place where they'd be unwelcome. I know now that the SGC only put up with me because of the potential for naquadria. I'd always guessed it to be honest, but what about Sam, Teal'c, Doctor Frasier, and Colonel O'Neill? Was I really that easy to set aside and forget about? I guess so-'"

"Enough Daniel!" said Sam, staring hard at the floor. She was gripping the edge of the bed so hard her knuckles were turning white. Vala squeezed her arm in sympathy.

Daniel snapped the journal shut, shaking his head, glad to put it away.

"What do we do now?" asked Mitchell.

"I'm telling you Boyd I don't need any help! I'm fine."

"Please J, you should not be up yet."

Vala was on her feet like a shot and out the door. She stopped short when she spotted J walking, very unsteadily, through the village. Boyd was following him, fussing over J. The teen had a look of fierce determination on his face.

"Where do you think you're going?" demanded Vala, striding out of the cabin and over to J. J rolled his eyes.

"Not you too. Look, I don't need any help, or guidance or whatever else you people are going to offer me. I'm perfectly capable of walking back to my own house, where my family is."

"Well I'm going with you to make sure you don't collapse on the way." said Vala, feeling furious in a way she couldn't explain. J snorted and looked away.

"Neither you, nor your team, will be welcome in the Kelnowan settlement."

"I don't care. I'm going to make sure you're all right, whether you like it or not." said Vala, grabbing J's jaw and making him look her in the eyes. J's green orbs were a mass of pain, masked by deep fury. He jerked out of Vala's grip.

"Fine! But don't expect any kind of welcome, let alone a warm one."

"Good. Shall we?"

J's scowl deepened and he nodded his head to the forest, "'s this way." Turning on his heels, J walked away, and Vala followed. The rest of her team followed behind, feeling apprehensive.

* * *

What's gonna happen? Wait and see!

Night's Darkness


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